Domestic helpers, typically referred to by the colloquial term ‘kakak‘ (older sister), are a common fixture in most Malaysian households. Typically hailing from Indonesia and to a lesser extent, the Philippines, these women are usually tasked to take up the domestic responsibilities of keeping a home running smoothly as well as providing basic childcare services in some cases.
With that said, many are often considered to be more than just employees and are treated as extended family members. So much so that many children here often recall fond memories of growing up with a kakak under their family’s employ.
M’sian woman embarks on search for her childhood kakak
One of them include Ms Angeline Low-Hamling, who was raised by a kakak during her formative years. Taking to Facebook back in 2021, she had urged social media users to help her in her efforts to track down the woman, who went by the name of Siti Halimah. According to Angeline, Siti had been working with her family for more than a period of 10 years and had been living in Malaysia since 1995, before heading back to Pekalongan, Jawa Tengah, Indonesia in 2015.
“She was a significant part of my childhood.”
“I have thought about her over the years, and it always seems like such a huge shame how someone who cared for me and watched me grow up has disappeared from my life completely.” Angeline said.
While they did keep in touch upon Siti’s return back to Indonesia, they eventually lost contact for almost a decade. With hopes to reconnect with her, Angeline turned to the power of the Internet in hopes of a miracle.
And indeed, ask for a miracle and a miracle she did receive as with a fortuitous twist of luck and chance, Angeline eventually did manage to reunite with Siti! In speaking with Wau Post on the matter, Angeline admits that things didn’t look optimistic during the beginning of her search, given how little information she had on hand at the time.
“I only had her name, photo, and the name of the village she used to live in to go by.”
Reunited, and flew her in for her wedding
But nonetheless, she made an effort to try with help from her Indonesian friend, Antonius, who shared the post with people he knew back home. And as they were aware of where Siti used to live in, they also made a point of contacting local media outlets there to enlist their help to spread the news. It was by that merit that she reconnected with her childhood kakak.
Describing Siti as an optimistic and forgiving person despite the hardships that she endured throughout her life, Angeline said that Siti was orphaned as a child and grew up in poverty. As such, she never got the opportunity to complete her education. But she remains thankful all the same for what opportunities she did have.
“I think with her being a religious Muslim, it has given her a lot of grace and strength to face life’s challenges.
She is too kind and gullible for her own good, and always sees the best in others.” Angeline adds.
Growing up with Siti, she said that her dutiful kakak would always be the first to protect her from her parents’ fury whenever she acted out and grew to become incredibly attached to her as she became her playmate as a child.
“I do look at my teenage years and realise I did take her for granted a lot.”
As for having Siti at her wedding, Angeline knew that it would mean a lot to her and was glad to have had her present during such a momentous occasion in her life, given how she played such a crucial role in her childhood. That was clearly evidenced by the photos she shared of Siti at her wedding, who beamed with the same matronly pride as Angeline’s mother did.
On the subject of hiring domestic helpers as a whole, Angeline urges employers to remember that they are human beings all the same, and hopes that they will extend both empathy and respect to them.
“It’s easy to forget that these are people who are in a completely foreign country, with no friends or family, on a low wage with some of their basic freedoms taken away.
You know how when you’ve had a bad day at work and can’t wait to get home? These guys don’t have that luxury.”
And while she has received some ‘cheeky’ remarks over how she must hail from a well-heeled upbringing to be able to afford to do so much for her kakak, Angeline said that her work as a veterinarian only afforded her a comfortable, but not extravagant lifestyle. What’s more, she points out that it isn’t by merit of monetary value that one should measure their kindness by, but rather through what they prioritise most in life.
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Also read: M’sian family shares touching reunion with their beloved ‘kakak’ after losing contact 10 years ago
